Desperation Anxiety
by Kayjynx
Summary: I suck at summaries. Uhm. Warnings for mature, squicky, and serious content. Rated M for sex, violence, language, and just generally disgusting things. Read inside for details. R&R.
1. Moving In

**Warnings for mature, squicky, and serious content. **Some of the things discussed in this fanfic may be very touchy subjects to some people. These things include ( but may not be limited to ): **bulimia, self - harm, large age gaps, sex with a minor, **and **incest**.

There will be a _huge_ jumble of pairings. The main focus is supposed to be **Doujima / Yousuke**. On the side, you can expect to see **one sided Souji / Yousuke, Souji / Souji's dad **( whom I've named Taka )**, Souji / Morooka, Souji / Kanji, **and **Adachi / Kanji**.

For the record, the plot of this story _does not follow the game_. It starts out with much the same premise, but there will be no TV exploration, no murders, no Personae, and no Shadows. It avoids spoilers and stuff this way. Plus, I just can't fit all this depressing and angst and horror in with the plot of the game and make it work. For the most part, the pairings specified will generally be the only characters involved. everyone else might pop up once or twice, but i'm not gonna focus on them. sorry if that's disappointing, haha. ;;

**Desperation Anxiety**

The hand caressing his cheek slowly begins to move down his neck, and over his shoulder. He hums a soft noise of approval, and stretches, rolling onto his stomach before curling up and reaching to set his hand over it. It pulls away before he can do so, thus forcing him to open an eye and turn his head to try and see where the gentle comfort has retreated.

" Come on. It's time to get up. Your train leaves in an hour. "

_I just want to sleep. I don't want to go anywhere, I want to stay here and ..._

" Get up, Souji. "

" No ... " He turns his head away into the pillow, and tries to pull it over his head, brows furrowing in irritation. " I don't want to. "

When silence is his only answer, he settles in to try and get back to sleep. He's won, and the only way he wants to celebrate his victory is by going back to his dream. The dream where everything was better.

_Don't have to wake up to go somewhere else for a whole year ... Don't have to leave ... You won't -_

The springs of his bed creak as someone else suddenly moves to join him. He whines, but nonetheless moves to make some more room

_Maybe he'll let me lay here with him until we have to go ..._

for the second body to join his. But it doesn't. Instead, he feels a heavy weight settle itself on his pelvis, and the same hand that had been so gingerly petting him only moments before is now pulling at the blanket and pillow, exposing him to the cold air of the morning. Something he is only naturally more than opposed to having to deal with right now.

" _Nooo_ ... Stop, it's cold ... " He rolls onto his back, and stares up into cold and unforgiving steel - gray eyes. He closes his own, and brings both of his hands up to cover his face. " ... I packed last night, lay with me ... "

" ... ... Souji. "

" Please. " He parts his fingers, and looks up to the man pleadingly. His mouth twitches up into a smile when he is obliged.

* * *

><p>He looks to his phone, tapping his thumb against the number pad as his eyes scan over the text once again.<p>

_Meet us outside Yasoinaba Station at 4PM._

He flicks his gaze over toward the window, and watches the scenery pass by with a dull expression. He wasn't enthused at all to meet his uncle again, and he didn't care to know who else was going to be there. He had vowed solely to go to school, do his homework, then hole up in his room until he could go home. What else was there to do, anyway?_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>" Souji. Put your book down and pay attention when I'm speaking to you. "<em>

_" ... Sorry. " He grabs his bookmark, and places it gingerly into the spine of the book, then closes it over his index finger. Looking up, he meets his mother's eyes, then looks over to his father. " What were you saying? "_

_The look of bemusement on the man's face doesn't hold quite the same affect as it had in the past. Instead, Souji only smiles, and arches an eyebrow in question. This prompts an answer that does, however, leave him feeling cold: " Your mother and I are going to be busy for the next year - "_

_" So you're going to be staying with your uncle until March. "_

... March? But ...

_" Why? I could take care of myself here ... " He pauses. " I could go, too. " His eyes are pleading with his father's at this point, as he knows that it's him with the soft spot when it comes to their son. But he seems to be as firm as ever. He cringes, and looks to his mother. Surely she wouldn't be okay with leaving her son for so long - ?_

_" You'll be staying with Ryoutarou, honey. It's for the best. " She smiles, but it really doesn't help the situation._

_Instead of responding, Souji lifts his book from his lap, and opens it promptly to the page that he'd left off on, and proceeds to read the same sentence at least four times in an attempt to comprehend the words that are blurring there due to the tears welling in his eyes._

* * *

><p>The trees began to fade away into a suburban, old - looking train station almost immediately. He blinks listlessly, brows knitting as the train pulls to a slow, dragging stop. His fate had been sealed the second he'd stepped up onto the train. It had seemed like a dream, then, though. He had a lot of very realistic dreams after all. Some had even been convincing enough that he'd thought for a moment, upon waking up, that he must have been abandoned in his bed again. Maybe this was one of those unreal, jarring dreams.<p>

_Maybe._

He closes his eyes, and lays his temple against the glass, ignoring the jostling and bouncing of the train car.

_The pillow feels cold against his face. It's a comforting contrast to the stifling heat of the otherwise humid room. He should turn a fan on, but the thought of getting up seems to be one beyond his mind's comprehension. He hears feet shuffling somewhere behind him, and muffled voices. Must be outside of his room. He can't place them, but he doesn't want to. Not enough motivation right now. Too hot, too sweaty, too tired._

_The bed springs creak and groan as something to his left moves to sit down ( ? ) on it. He wants to turn around and see who it is, but he doesn't have the energy. So instead, he clears his throat to try and loosen up the scratchy tightness. " ... Can I get some water ... ? "_

" There might be some water in the vending machine, " a voice responds, and startles Souji from his day dream. He gasps, sitting up so fast his head spins. The man that had offered the response looks a little taken back himself. But he smiles, and motions to the train doors. " This is the end of the line; you looked like you were asleep, so ... " He laughs, but it seems uncertain. " Gonna have to kick you out, Kid. "

Souji nods a slow understanding, and leans down to grab the only bag he brought with him from underneath the seat. " Sorry ... I guess I don't feel so good. I usually don't get motion sickness, but ... "

" Ahaha ... Can't complain here as long as you don't make a mess back here, so don't you worry about it. Have a nice evening, and get some sleep, yeah? "

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. " Thanks. You, too. " Nodding, he throws the bag strap over his head, and turns to leave, keeping his head down. He grabs his phone from his pocket again, and pulls up the text that Doujima sent him again. It didn't change, of course. It still said exactly what it said before. _Meet us at the Yasoinaba Station at 4PM._ But for whatever reason, he felt peculiar looking at it.

Shrugging off the weird pang of ... _of what? Discomfort ... ?_ he stepped out of the main station and out onto the landing platform, tucking his phone into his back pocket. His eyes skimmed over the crowds of people uncertainly until he heard a sharp voice.

" Hey! Over here! "

_... Me?_

He turns toward the source, and sees a middle - aged man ... And a young girl standing there. _Must be them ..._

" Well, you're more handsome in person than in your photo. " The man laughs cheerfully as he steps over to the platform as well. Souji steps down to meet him, extending a hand uncertainly. There is no hesitation as his hand is grabbed and shaken with a firm grip. " Welcome to Inaba. I'm Ryoutarou Doujima. I'll be looking after you. " He drops Souji's hand, and brings his own up to scratch at the back of his head in an almost sheepish manner. " Let's see ... I'm your mother's younger brother ... And that about sums it up. "

_He's short ... I was hoping he'd be taller ... That's okay, I guess._

Souji closes his eyes, and tilts his head faintly to the left, tucking his thumb underneath the bag strap over his chest. " It's been a long time, " he responds finally, and lowers his eyes for a short moment to look Doujima over. He looks back up to him, a brow arching.

" I'll say. You've really grown, I still remember when you were in diapers ... " He grins, then notices Souji's eyes on the girl standing to the side of him. " This here's my daughter. Come on, Nanako, introduce yourself to your cousin. "

_... ... What does she have to be so embarrassed about?_ He quirks his mouth in distaste, but he plays it off as a smile, and moves to crouch down slightly, to encourage her. _The sooner this is over, the sooner I can go to sleep._

Nanako stumbles when she's pushed forward, and shoots an annoyed look over her shoulder at Doujima, who simply laughs. Pouting, she looks up to Souji again. " ... ... " Her eyes are nearly pleading him to say something first, but when he doesn't, she realizes she's forced to say something first. " ... 'lo. " She turns quickly, then, and runs to hide behind her father's leg.

Souji straightens up, not really too amused. He never was one for the shy, quiet children. Mostly because he'd been one himself._  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>" Come on, go play. "<em>

_He shook his head, nuzzling into the protective hand, and the warm thigh that his cheek was currently level with._

_" Souji, let go and go play. "_

_" ... don't wanna ... "_

_" Honey, do you think ... " His mother's worried voice comes from the above left of him, but he ignores it in favor of staring curiously at the two children in front of him throwing sand into a bucket. He wonders what they might be planning to do with that bucket, but he isn't entirely too interested in going over to see for himself._

_" He's fine, Noriko. He'll get used to it. " Taka stoops down, and picks up the child, and holds him out toward her. " Here. You should take him over there. "_

_Souji latches onto his mother the second her hands close on him. She laughs , and hugs him close to her chest. " ... Come on, Baby, let's go see what they're doing in the sandbox ... "_

* * *

><p>He's startled from his reverie when he hears Doujima laughing. Blinking away the sudden thoughts, he turns his focus politely back to the two standing before him.<p>

" What're you so shy for? " He looks back to Nanako, and gets a sharp slap on the ass from her, which only prompts another laugh from him. " Ow, hahaha. "

She pouts, and purses her lips at him, but says nothing more.

" Well then ... Let's get going. My car's over there. "

The drive to the Doujima residence was a rather boring one. Doujima had taken his phone out on several occasions, looking both annoyed and pleased whenever he saw the screen. He'd tried to be subtle about it at first, sheepish. Especially when Souji confronted him that - especially as a cop - he had to be aware that he was breaking the law. His response had been a stuttered jumble along the lines of, ' I know, but ... And it's only going to get worse ... ' Souji gave up, then, since he hadn't heard a majority of what he was saying. Instead, he laid his head on the window on his side of the car, closed his eyes, and drifted off into a black and dreamless sleep.

He is shaken awake when the car stops - or, at least, he assumes it was when the car stopped, judging the fact both Nanako and Doujima are still there - by a firm hand on his shoulder. He blinks sleepily, becoming aware of the stiffness in his shoulder and the pain tingling down his spine as he forces himself to sit up and look over to offer - _... It's not Dad ... - _his uncle a quick smile.

" Sorry. I'm tired, " he apologizes quickly, and Doujima just nods in response. He pushes his door open quietly, and slips out of the car, looking up at the house. It's smaller than he expected, but he shrugs it off, and moves up to let himself in on the man's prompting.

Doujima shows him to his room, and tours the house with him while Nanako starts dinner. The idea of a six year old cooking dinner for them isn't one that sits well with Souji, but he is reassured so many times by his uncle that she's been doing this enough to know what she's doing that it actually irritates him a little bit.

" This is my room here - "

" Okay. " Souji nods when he notices the look on his face, and tries to smile. " Sorry. I'm ... I'm going to go to my room. I want to finish my book. "

" Haha ... Alright. I'll get you for dinner, okay? " He grins faintly, and turns for the stairs again. His phone rings before he hits the bottom, but Souji ignores it in favor of getting into his room, and burrowing himself into a pile of blankets on the floor.

The name - if it could be called a name at all - that flashes on the caller ID is, thankfully, not the one he expected. Sighing in faint relief, Doujima answers the call as he trots down the steps and out the front door.

" Didn't you say you had to get to work? " His grin is evident in his voice, he can tell by the way Yousuke laughs.

" Already did. But it's slow right now, so I thought I'd call you. " There's a shuffling in the background - _Yousuke, you never stop fidgeting, do you? -_ and then another laugh. " So? " He's eager. The sound of his shoes creaking as he bounces on the balls of his feet on the linoleum floor is almost loud enough to make him cringe. " What's he like? "

" That would be the first thing you ask, " he teases.

" What, you jealous, Ryou ... ~ ? " Yousuke sniggers, and there's a strange squeaking noise that Doujima recognizes after a moment as the teen on the other line spinning around on his toes. The thought gave him an arguably hilarious mental image.

_One of those corded phones that he grew up with. Yousuke's at his house, and he's at the station himself. The redhead is - or, more accurately, _was_ - calling to ask him what he wants for lunch today. The conversation turned into idle chit - chat. Yousuke has been twisting the the coils of the cord connecting the handset to the base around his index finger. He spins around now, chuckling at a joke ( that was probably relatively stupid ) Doujima just uttered. After effectively wrapping himself up in the cord, he drops on his hip on the couch, then falls onto his side. A little shifting around leaves his feet propped up on the shelf behind the couch, his head hanging off the cushion, and his body wrapped up. He looks rather -_

" -cute? "

_Huh?_

" Sorry, what ... ? "

" ... I asked if he was cute. You're not checking him out right now, are you? " Yousuke's feigning a pout, and he can tell. " Anyway, really, what's he like? I can come by tomorrow and show him to school or something. Not a very big town, but you can still get pretty lost if you don't know where you're going. " He laughs, efficiently crushing the attempt to whine and pout his way into getting some verbal coddling out of Doujima.

" Well, he does look better than he did in the picture, " he comments off - handedly as he thinks of a way to describe Souji. He didn't know very much himself, so it was hard to do. " ... He's quiet ... ? Or, he was around me at least. Chided me for texting you will I was driving, _thank you_ - " Yousuke's giggling a little too giddily at that, " - and then he fell asleep. He didn't seem like he was in a good mood when we got here, so I don't really know. Doesn't seem to take too much after Nana. " He snorts, and grabs the cigarette from behind his ear, tucking it into the corner of his mouth. " But I guess that's not a huge surprise, she told me he was pretty clingy to Taka. It's - "

" Dad ... ? " Nanako peeks out the front door, blinking up at him. " ... Uhm, dinner's done if you wanna come eat. "

" Oh. Yeah, just a sec. Let me finish my cigarette and I'll be in. Set the table? " When she nods, he gives her a quick wave, and turns to find his lighter. " Uh, yeah, come over tomorrow morning ... I'll be on my way out, so I can give you two a ride. " He takes a drag as the flame engulfs the end of his cigarette, then shoves the lighter away into his pocket.

" Was that Nanako? Say hi for me! " There's some more rustling in the background. " Mm, okay. See you in the morning. " There's a pause, as if he isn't sure what to say. " 'Night, Ryou. "

" 'Night- " The line is already dead. He raises a brow, and stares dully at the phone in his hand. " Alright ... " Shaking his head, he leans back on the house, and takes another puff on the cigarette, lifting his head to blow the smoke skyward. His eyes close against the gentle breeze, and he's almost lost in thought when his phone buzzes in his hand. " ... Hmn? "

He glances down to note a text. From ' _That One Junes Kid_. ' He couldn't lie, the name still amuses him. Yousuke had had a fit when he saved it into his phone before._  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>" Ryoutarou, you have to be kidding me! "<em>

_" What? "_

_His phone is shoved promptly over the side of the couch, and into his face. He blinks, and leans backwards a little bit to bring it into focus, then raises a brow. He didn't see anything wrong. Adachi's name was at the top of his address book list because, well, his last name was the only one that started with an A. He turns his gaze up to the teen again, reaching to push the phone down._

_" What's wrong with that? "_

_" Why isn't my name in here? " Yousuke pushes out his lower lip, and knits his brows in a pout. The actions almost instinctively cause his eyes to water a little bit - he always had been good at fake - crying when he needed to. It doesn't work on Doujima most of the time, he's come to find, but sometimes the man will humor him, take him in his lap and squish his cheeks while he nuzzles their noses together ... all before calling him a big baby, and telling him to stop his whining._

_" ... Oh. That's right. I never needed to add it. " He blinks, then reaches to take the phone from him. " I got it memorized, and since I only ever call you once in awhile, it never really occurred to me. I'll add it real quick. "_

_" Good. " He purses his lips now, and puffs out his cheeks. Doujima can't help but think he looks like a puffer fish when he makes that face. Yousuke wriggles over the edge of the couch, and scootches himself in next the older man; his shoulder finds a place against one of his broad shoulders so he can peek down at the screen. Just as promised, he _did_ indeed have the number memorized, it only took him a few seconds to type it in. He watched absently as Doujima hit ' save, ' then began typing in ... wait, what._

_" ... You can't save that. " He looks up at him, eyes narrowed in an almost challenging manner. His mouth threatens another pout, he can see it._

_" Yes, I can. I just hit this button riiight ... here. " He does so as he says it, and flashes him the screen saying ' Saved Changes. ' The look of horror on Yousuke's face makes him laugh. " Oh, come on, it's just a - "_

_Before he can finish his sentence, he's pushed over onto the couch. He makes a surprised noise as he falls over onto his side, and turns to confront his attacker - who seems intent on wrestling his phone out of his hand._

_" Gimme that, come on! " Yousuke whines, and reaches for it as Doujima moves it over his own head toward the other end of the couch. " That's not fair, gimme the phone. " He crawls his way up the man's chest, and reaches again, but to his chagrin, he hears a clatter as plastic hits the cheap tile under the couch. " Wha - " A hand seizes his arm, and he looks down quickly, blinking. " ... Uh? "_

_Yousuke gets a rather charming, but amused smile from him. He can't help but blush, just a little bit._

_" That's not fair, " he huffs again as he lets his weight drop on top of the body below him. Almost instantly, there is an arm around his waist, and he cuddles down into the warmth. " _That One Junes Kid_ my ass ... "_

_" ... Haha ... Don't sulk about it ... " A hand tucks under Yousuke's chin, and guides his head up. He blinks, then closes his eyes when Doujima presses a kiss to the underside of his chin. They've both had their fair share of kisses like that in the past month. But neither had gone for the lips yet._

_He props himself up on his elbows, and narrows his eyes at the older male. " ... You're such a prick. " Then he leans down, and takes the shot at what they haven't yet dared to try - and is pleasantly surprised when the kiss is returned.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em> Hart u. Sry I hung up so fast. Customer was coming.<br>G'night, txt u on my way in the morning._

He sends a quick text in response - something about his grammar when he texts, and all of the mushy things Yousuke likes to get from him - then heads inside to go round Souji up for dinner as he flicks his cigarette into the can he set out for the ashes and cigarette butts.

Sushi is laid out neatly on each of the plates. There's drinks and cushions laid out as well. Souji takes note of it as he moves to sit down, vaguely amused that a six year old had managed this.

_How long has she been doing this ... ? ... Actually, where is her mother to be doing this ..._

He's dragged from his thoughts, however, when he hears Doujima talking again. He isn't sure how long he'd been talking - actually, he isn't even aware of when he came and sat down himself. Shaking the thought, he grabs his cup.

" All right, let's have a toast. So ... Your mom and dad are busy as always ... They're working overseas, was it? I know it's only for a year, but getting stuck in a place like this because of your parents ... It's rough being a kid. Well, it's just me and Nanako here, so it'll be nice having someone like you around. "

_... So she must be ..._

" So as long as you're here, you're part of the family, so make yourself at home. "

Souji fumbles absently for a moment, then lifts his glass slightly with an uncertain smile. Of the first things that came to mind to say, _Yes, Sir!_ seemed like something he'd say to his father. Lord knows of course that he's done so a multitude of times ... Not saying anything seemed out of the question. And he didn't exactly feel comfortable enough with this man to be casual with him ... " Thank you for your kindness, " he finally uttered.

" C'mon, there's no need to be so formal. Look, you're making Nanako all tense. Well, anyway ... Let's eat. "


	2. Beginning Life Anew

" Weather's not the best out there, is it, " Doujima remarks as he drops the curtain. " You two ought to grab your umbrellas. I can give you both a ride to school, but you'll be needing it after school, I'll be busy. " He turns around to face the table, raising the coffee mug to take a sip as Nanako nods and hops up out of her seat. He then turns his eyes expectantly onto Souji, but he doesn't make a move to abandon his breakfast plate.

A pause.

_Oh._

" ... Do you have an umbrella, Seta? " He steps over to the table, and sets his hand on the back of his nephew's chair, leaning over him. " If you don't have one, I can get one from the closet ... " He straightens up, and looks toward the bottom of the stair well that Nanako just disappeared up. " I think we got one in there. "

" I'm fine, " Souji responds, looking over his shoulder to give Doujima the first smile that he'd really bothered with since he got here. " I have one with me in my room. I just wanted to finish my breakfast first; I forgot my jacket as well, so ... " He cants his head to the side, then moves to push himself out of his chair. He hasn't quite finished his breakfast yet, but since Doujima doesn't seem intent on letting him finish it in peace, he decides to head upstairs and get his things for school.

" ... Seta — " He sighs when the boy ignores him to head up the stairs, and decides to just gather up the dishes. He had to get these done before work, unless he wanted another lecture — either from Nanako or Yousuke — about how he can't keep his house organized. It was a little awkward being told by your six year old daughter or your high school student of a boyfriend.

_.. ... Damn, that really does sound bad when you think of it like that ..._

He sighs, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows, and turns on the faucet. Over the running water, and clanking of the dishes in the sink, he doesn't hear the door open. Nor does he hear it close so softly behind his visitor. All he's _really _aware of right now is that there's still dishes left over from dinner last night, and with all the breakfast dishes piled on, he might not be able to get these all done before he drives Souji and Nanako to school. _Wait, was Yousuke planning to bring his bike today? Maybe he can take Seta with him ... Nanako gets there later than they do anyway, so ..._

Yousuke peeks into the kitchen from around the entryway after slipping his shoes off, and grins when he sees Doujima at the sink, looking rather preoccupied. If he'd heard him, he would have said something. Lowering himself into a crouch, he makes his way past the couch, and over to the table. He straightens up, then, since now he's behind his target.

_Tip toe ... Just a little closer, and —_

" Yousuke - Nii! " The girl's voice rings cheerfully through the house. She doesn't notice the way Yousuke cringes, nor does she hear the curse he mutters under his breath when he's caught; she's too busy throwing her arms around his waist and hugging him. " Good morning! "

He sighs defeatedly, and scoops her up, turning to face Doujima, only to get water flicked in his face. " Oh — _Hey_, come on! I'm already wet from the rain, what's with that. " He tries to pout, but the way Nanako's laughing in his arms makes it difficult to even fake being upset. He sets her on her feet, and nudges her toward the door. " Alright, go get your raincoat, Nana - Chan, it's pretty cold out there. " He then turns toward Doujima, offering him an almost shy smile. " Uhm, morning, Ryou, " he offers with a light laugh.

" Morning to you, too. You brought your bike, right? It's gonna take me too long to do these dishes, so you're gonna have to show Seta to school and everything. " He grabs a towel, and wipes his hands dry, pretending to ignore the way the redhead inches toward him. " Just don't go veering off course if you want to make friends. " Doujima flashes a grin as he leans over to close the distance between them and give him a quick kiss. " Now go on. "

" Ah ... Haha, come on, that was — " He cuts himself off when he hears a clutter of footsteps on the stairs. He turns to see the gray - haired teenager that Doujima had just picked up last night. The first thing he noticed was how lanky he was. Then how _tall_ he was. It was almost ridiculous ... Backing away from the older man, he turns to extend a hand to him — only to have it intercepted by Nanako as she barrels down after Souji.

" Can I go with you guys to school today? " she inquires cheerfully, grabbing at Yousuke's jacket and tugging on it. " I wanna go with you! "

" Huh? Well ... Haha, I guess that wouldn't hurt, " Yousuke replies, patting her on the head. He turns his attention up to Souji, grinning faintly. " You're the new kid, huh? Hanamura Yousuke. Nice to meetcha. "

Souji seems hesitant for a moment, staring at the hand offered to him. It takes Doujima clearing his throat to garner the attention Yousuke was looking for.

* * *

><p>The classroom looks quaint, he thinks, as he looks around. In just the same manner as the rest of the town, it's fairly small and cozy, but not in a suppressing way. As he steps around the room to acquaint himself with the shelves — and the books on them — he can hear a few students nattering on about something. Apparently, that something is who the homeroom teacher is.<p>

" Talk about bad luck ... The homeroom teacher here is Morooka, isn't it? "

" Yeah, it's King Moron, alright ... We get to enjoy his long - ass sermons every day for a whole year ... "

_... ' King Moron ' ... Hmn. I doubt he's any worse than the teachers back at home ..._ Souji sighs faintly, and moves to crouch down and pull a book curiously off the shelf when a girl steps into the conversation with the two boys going on behind him. This time, the conversation takes a shift.

" Hey you guys, I heard there's going to be a transfer student from the city in this class. "

His head snaps up, brows furrowing as he tucks the book back into its place. Standing up abruptly, he moves through the rows of desks, offering Yousuke a quick glance as he passes, and moves to stand in the front just as the teacher walks in. Behind him, the conversation continues, as if they didn't realize the new kid walking past them

* * *

><p>must be the transfer student being spoken of.<p>

" Huh? Really? A guy or a girl? "

" Awright, shut your traps! "

Souji almost flinches at the harsh tone._  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>" Souji. "<em>

_" Yes ... ? "_

_" I don't think I heard right. "_

_" ... I ... Y - Yes, _Sir_. Sorry ... Sir. " There's a shaky, uncertain smile on his lips as he looks up to the man standing in front of him. When he only gets a silent stare back, he lowers his eyes to the book in front of him. His heart is racing in his chest, suddenly, and he knows that his father knows. " ... I didn't mean to. "_

_" But you did. And then you tried to hide it. "_

_He flinches. " No, I just — ... I didn't — "_

_" Bull_shit_, Souji. Did you really think we wouldn't find out? "_

* * *

><p>" I'm Kinshirou Morooka, your homeroom teacher from today forward! First things first! Just because it's spring doesn't mean you can swoon over each other like love - struck baboons. Long as I'm around, you students are going to be pure as the driven snow! "<p>

_... What is that supposed to mean?_ Souji flickers his gaze around the room, absently noting that only two girls seemed to be comfortable modifying their school uniforms. He wonders, for a short moment, if the teacher would snap at them for it. He seems to be that sort of person, after all.

" Now, I hate wasting my time, but I'd better introduce this transfer student. This sad sack's been thrown from the big city out to the middle of nowhere like yesterday's garbage. " ._.. Excuse me ... ?_ " And he's just as much of a loser here as he was there, so you girls better not get any ideas about hitting on him! Tell 'em your name, kid, and make it quick. "

Eyes narrowing, he turns his head over toward the teacher. A big part of him wants to obey, as the man seems to demand the respect his father does. But another part chimes in with _He's not your father, who cares what he does or doesn't want? _It's this voice of reason that he listens to when he shoots the snide remark back at the man: " ... You calling me a loser? "

Morooka looks taken back; it's clear from the disgruntled noise he makes and the expression on his face. " Hrnh ... That's it, you're on my shit list, effective immediately. Now listen up! "

_... ... Am I allowed to sit down? _He quirks his mouth, and looks out over the students again, noting that the empty desk was next to one of the two girls. The one with the green jacket.

" This town is miles away from your big city of perverts and assholes, in more ways than one. You better not even think of getting involved with the girls here, let alone abusing them! " _... What sort of person do you take me for? _" But what do I know ... It's not like the old days. Even here, kids grow up so damn fast. Every time I turn my back, you're fooling around on those damn phones, checking your life - journals and your my - faces ... "**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>summernetwork <strong>wrote:  
>Jan. 16th, 2010 11:14 am (UTC)<strong><br>nice pics**  
>wow seta. those are nice. where were you when you took them? the lighting on the 3rd one is really good.<br>(Reply) (Thread)**  
>perspectate<strong> wrote:  
>Jan. 16th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)<strong><br>Re: nice pics**  
>Down at the port. (: The sun was just setting behind me, and it reflected perfectly off the water. I just got lucky on that one. Glad you like it! I think I'm gonna send it in to that magazine.<br>(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)_  
>(Re: nice pics) <em>— _(summernetwork)_ — _Expand  
>(Re: nice pics) <em>—_ (perspectate) _—_ Expand_

**sporadic_implosion** **wrote:**  
>Jan. 20th, 2010 4:02 am (UTC)<strong><br>wow**  
>lol you actually think these r worth sending in? thats prty sad. try agin fgt.<br>(Reply) (Thread)**  
>perspectate wrote:<strong>  
>Jan. 20th, 2010 6:42 pm (UTC)<strong><br>Re: wow**  
>... I'm not sure who asked your opinion. They're not the best, I agree with that, but I'm doing the best I can without any high - tech equipment. If you're simply going to insult me, then I'll block your IP.<br>Learn constructive criticism if you're going to do this.  
>(<span>Reply<span>) (Parent) (Thread)_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>... I wonder if they got those pictures,<em> Souji muses to himself as the teacher continues his ramble. _Maybe I can go with them one day, if the magazine likes my pictures ..._

" Excuse me! " Both the teacher and the silver - haired teen are distracted from their thoughts when the girl in the green jacket pipes up. " Is it okay if the transfer student sits here? "

" Huh? Yeah, sure. Hear that? Your seat's over there. So hurry up and siddown already! "

Sighing, he nods, and moves down the aisle to take the offered seat. He glances to her, and offers a quick smile. " ... Thanks. "

" He's the worst, huh? Rotten luck for you to get stuck in this class ... Well, we'll just have to hang in there for a year. "

He almost laughs, but he gets his attention snagged away when he feels the eraser end of a pencil digging into his back between his shoulder blades. He makes an involuntary, but strange, noise, and glances behind him to see a phone screen. He blinks, and looks past it, and gets a prompting nod from Yousuke. _Oh. He wants my number, right ... ?_ He takes the phone, glancing to the front to make sure the teacher didn't notice, then tucks it under his desk to start typing his number in, ignoring the strange look from Chie.

" Sucks to be the transfer student, ending up in King Moron's class on the first morning here ... " It wasn't either of the boys from earlier talking this time. He couldn't help but sigh, feeling like he was an unnecessarily popular topic this morning.

" Yeah, he won't think twice about suspending you if you get on his bad side. Then again, we're all in the same boat ... "

" Shut your traps! I'm taking roll, and I damn well expect you to respond in an orderly manner! "

Souji shrugs, and hands the phone back to Yousuke as the teacher starts calling out names. He flashes a quick smile to him in the process, then turns forward again.

The redhead glances down to his phone almost curiously. _Seta Souji_. Right. He'd totally forgotten what the kid's name was. Damn good thing he saved it in the phone for him, or this could have been awkward. Slouching down in his seat, he pulls up an empty text, glances up to the teacher, then begins to text away. As long as King Moron didn't catch him, he could probably get away with this ...

_ Compose Message  
>Hey ryou. Im bored. Teachrs being an ass agin. Got tym 2 tlk?<br>[ Send Message ]  
>[ Ryou ]<br>Message Sent_

He looks up to see where along the sheet Morooka is, and lucks out — he just called his name. He offers a sheepish grin, standing up and tucking his phone in his pocket in the process. " Right here. " He folds his arms, simply raising a brow when he gets an irritated look from the teacher, then shrugs and sits down. Not too long after, his phone buzzes.

_... What did I tell you about texting in class? The least you could do is use proper grammar and pretend you've learned something while you're there.**  
>From: Ryou <strong>  
>7:13 am 1104/10_

_Ah come on. At least i capitalize my sentences. I cld leav that out 2. Bet ur not evn wrk yet. Its just roll call ryt now. Nthng importnt.  
>[ Send Message ]<br>_

_Seriously. Type me ONE proper text, and I'll text you today. ... But it still stands that I'm blocking your number for the month if your grades drop. You're already behind, I'm not going to be responsible for you falling even further behind, you got it?**  
>From: Ryou<br>**7:22 am 11/04/10_

_Man. Lighten up. I can spell if I want to, it's just harder. And takes longer.  
>See, there. I can text just fine. And I'll take notes, I swear! I just wanna talk to you. So can we talk now, or are you gonna get all anal on me for the rest of the day?<br>[ Send Message ]  
><em>

_Hrmn. Then spare me trying to figure out what the Hell you're typing half the time ...  
>Alright, alright ... Well, if you want to come over for dinner tonight, you can just text me what you and Seta want for dinner after you two decide on something, and I'll pick it up after work. I'm off early tonight, so.<strong><br>From: Ryou**  
>7:46 am 1104/10_

_Srsly, its not tht hrd. I no ur not tht old yet LOL. But if it bugs u tht much, mayb ill try when im not tryin 2 hide my fone k?  
>Huh? O, ya, i can do tht. I got his # now, so i can txt him about it. Do we get 2 wach a movie n cudl aftr dinner? lol its been a long time since we did.<br>[ Send Message ]  
><em>

_... No, but it's irritating. I really don't get how you guys can do that. It doesn't take that much more effort to type things out properly. ... If you have to hide your phone ... ... ... A lecture won't help either of us, I already cornered myself into this. Never mind.  
>Don't go texting him in class, Yousuke. You can ask him at lunch. It's not like I'll be off that early.<br>A movie? ... ... I'll think about that one. If there's anything good, maybe we'll all just sit around and watch it tonight. And for the record, a week isn't really ' a long time. '**  
>From: Ryou<br>**7:54 am 11/04/10_

_It takes more effort on a #pad fone. Urs has a keyboard bt since mine broke i just hav ths old 1 with the #pad and its a pain in the ass 2 type a lot with it. least i type out most of my words. Cud b worse. Rly. ... Exactly, so sav the lectur 4 sumthing interesting lol.  
>Ohp. Sry 2 late. Already did. Lol jk. But ok i'll ask him lunch and let u no. N u nvr no with u, u get off so randomly. ... LOL.<br>Pft. Dnt thnk about it, just do it. We can all pile up blankets n a futon on the floor in the living room n get all comfy there. Oh ryou. U shud no that a week is like 4evr when ur 16. No kidding.  
>[ Send Message ]<br>_

_... Your messages are giving me a headache, Yousuke. Seriously. I doubt even Adachi could understand half of what you're typing, so before you say it's my age, I would like to remind you he's only twenty seven. ... And if it's really purely the phone, then I'll pay for a new one if it saves me from having to read this.  
>... ... ... I'm going to find the worst romance movie in the whole damn store, and you know I'll sit through it just to make sure you have to watch it, too. ... Yes, my work schedule is entirely based on when they need me in. But so is yours, so I don't see why you need to point it out or make weird jokes of this.<br>Alright ... I suppose I could afford a night to relax. But don't take it as some excuse to stay up all night, and try to call out of school tomorrow. You know that doesn't work with me. ... I'm starting to remember that part.  
>Anyway, I'm busy right now. I have some field work to do. You can call me at lunch, I'll take a few minutes off to talk to you. Good luck at school.<strong><br>From: Ryou  
><strong>8:12 am 11/04/10_

Yousuke pushes the phone away in his pocket after seeing Doujima's ' goodbye, ' then slumps down in his seat with a faint sigh. He was in for a long lecture. At the front of the classroom, he could hear Morooka going on about ... Who cares what. If he wanted to stay up late tonight, and still get to school tomorrow, he might as well try to catch some sleep now to make up for what he knew he wouldn't be getting due to late - night escapades.

It wasn't long until someone felt they needed to interrupt his plans. He jumps with a quiet gasp when a ball of paper hits him in the chest, and bounces onto his desk. A subtle, quick glance forward tells him he doesn't actually want to know who it came from, and advises him against reading it. Despite his better judgment, he begins unraveling the crumpled up paper, and smooths it out on the desk.

" — ungrateful brats like you, I can't understand why — "

_Hᴇʏ, ғᴀɢɢᴏᴛ. Wᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴄʟᴀss ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ's JUNES, ʜᴜʜ?_

He stares at the note for a long moment, then closes his eyes and crumples it back up again. _Always the same shit ... This is getting to be ridiculous ..._

The teacher's rant continued for a moment even after he noticed the hand up. He must have either sensed the desperation, or just wanted one less ' piece of shit ' in his classroom, because he answered the request: " What do you want, Hanamura? "

Standing up from his seat, Yousuke shoves the paper into his pocket. " Uhm, may I be excused ... ? " Morooka gives him a rather irritated stare, and he quickly adds, " I have to go. Really bad. "

" Get out of my sight, " he grunts, and it doesn't take another word to prompt the teen to help himself with running out the door at the back of the classroom. Turning his focus back to the class, a scowl takes his features. " Anyone _else_ feel the need to interrupt the class? No? Good. " He turns to the chalkboard.

" ... That was faster than usual, " the girl at Souji's side mumbles, and slouches over the desk with her chin resting in her hand. She notices his curious look, and doesn't leave him hanging. " He usually leaves around third hour to go to the bathroom. It's like clockwork. "

He laughs quietly, but stops immediately he gets a nasty look from the instructor. " ... Sorry. "

" The Hell did I tell you guys earlier? "

Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>" Hey, just a second. " There's some shuffling in the background, and voices, muffled by what Yousuke assumes is Doujima's shirt. The detective had this habit of pressing the phone against his chest when he's talking on it and someone interrupts him. Yousuke has watched him do it a million times with Adachi. " Alright, sorry about that. Still out here on the field, so I had to say I'm stepping off. You guys decide what you wanted? "<p>

" Check it out — Seta - Kun says he knows that place, Tenya? You should just get a bunch of ten - don and we'll just share everything or something. Kind of in the mood for some squid, but Seta said he wanted some shrimp, and that was the first place I could think of. " He grins, and winks, though Souji's the only one who actually sees it, despite the fact it's clearly directly to the man on the phone. " I know you've been saying how Nana - Chan won't eat her vegetables lately, and you know ten - don has pumpkin and green beans! So? "

Doujima laughs faintly. " Well, it does save me some trouble, and probably some money. Especially if it's Tenya ... Alright, ten - don it is. A nice compromise for everyone involved. Movie requests? "

" Maybe something with Tora - San? Seta said he liked comedy movies. And, uhm, what about — Uh, hold on. " Yousuke lowers his phone, setting his hand over the speaker mostly out of habit. " You don't mind, like, gore - slasher horror, right? " He grins faintly.

" ... No. That's fine. " The gray - haired teen in question gives a faint shrug.

" That's what I thought; you look like you watch that kinda stuff just to laugh! " He laughs a bit himself, and jostles Souji's side with his elbow, raising the phone back to his ear. " Okay, you should totally get _Flower of Flesh and Blood_. "

" ... Isn't that a little extreme, Yousuke? I think the director was taken to court to prove it wasn't actually a snuff film, even — "

" Are you _afraid?_ Come on, it's not like I'd suggest watchin' that without puttin' Nana - Chan to bed first. Promise. " The silence on the other end is indication enough that the man is considering it. It's all he needs. " Alright, then! If you can't find that one, how about _Mermaid in a Manhole_? "

" ... ... Do you purposely pick the most disgusting ones? "

" I'd say _He Never Dies_, but I kinda ... Don't wanna watch that one. " There's a pause from both of them this time, then a quiet noise from Yousuke suggesting to forget about the whole idea in its entirety. " Anyway, _Slaughter Special_ is the worst one; it's got all the most gruesome moments from all the first movies, so I could be picking worse ones here. "

" ... Alright, alright. I'll see what's at the video store. You eat your lunch, I'll meet you guys back at the house after work. " Hesitation. " ... Love you. " Yousuke could almost _hear_ the way he was blushing. And it was adorable.

" Thanks. You, too ... ! " He snaps his phone shut with a grin, and turns his attention over to Souji. " Alright, let's eat, huh? "

* * *

><p>The idea to lay out the futon and snuggle down in the blankets had escalated ridiculously — and sadly, this happened some time after Nanako had been sent to bed. No one could remember at this point when the mat had been propped against the couch, and it was just as curious about whose idea it was that they all crawl under it and stack pillows under the corners to keep it off the floor. Doujima had decided to lay the blankets around the outside — he had been complaining he needed somewhere to rest his elbows if he had to lay so awkwardly in order to see the TV, but Yousuke and Souji both decided it was more like a fortress wall.<p>

The screams of horror and pain coming from the movie are still rather shrill and alarming despite how low the volume had been turned to avoid waking up Nanako. Three sets of eyes are glued to the screen, though it seems to be out of obligation at this point than out of interest. Souji has long since decided that this movie was horribly disgusting - _who uses blood and pus to paint a portrait? I've heard of weird painting material, but __**blood and pus**__?_ - awhile ago, but he isn't going to be the first one to admit it. Yousuke finds that his dinner doesn't set well when he thinks of the mermaid living in the sewer being the fish and squid they had just dined on, but he doesn't have any plans to turn his eyes away from the screen and get teased by Doujima for acting like the rookie cops. And Doujima is quite used to the whole thing, but that doesn't mean he's anywhere particularly fascinated. But, just like the boys, he's decided that he'll see it to the end — after all, if _they_ can, certainly _he_ can.

Yousuke spares a glance out of the corner of his eye to his left. After their little fort had been built, Souji had taken it upon himself to snuggle up against Doujima's right side, and had decided that the man's shoulder made a good pillow. Being a father of a six year old child had seen Doujima to be fairly tolerant to these sorts of things, and he'd simply patted him on the head and let him do what he wanted. ( Being slightly jealous, ) Yousuke decided he'd follow his example and cuddled down on the left side.

Souji seems to sense the look, and turns his head to meet the redhead's eyes with a questioning look. Not really wanting to talk over the movie, Yousuke shrugs. He gets a quiet grunt in response - if that even could be called a response. " ... I'll be back, " he mumbles just loud enough to be heard, then squirms out from under the fort and over the blanket wall, and disappears down the hall for the bathroom.

" Uhkay ... "

Yousuke looks up at Doujima's muttered response, and grins faintly. " You actually interested in the movie? " He wriggles a little when he doesn't get an instant response, which finally seems to draw the cop's eyes off of the television screen.

" ... Huh? "

" Guess you do? "

" ... Do what? "

Yousuke laughs and pushes himself up on his elbows, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Doujima's mouth. " Nothing, never mind. "

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>

Yousuke actually was supposed to have a less than three sign after Doujima's name, but I couldn't find an appropriate anything to put there that Fanfiction would actually keep there, so ... pretend? Lolol. Uhm, let's see. It also killed the amazing formatting and everything I had on the LifeJournal part. Sigh. ;; Limitations hurt my soul. Anyhow, uhm. Hope you enjoyed this installment, try and count how many foreshadowed things you can find. This chapter was like a huge Easter egg hunt. ... And Souji's LifeJournal is actually important, keep it in mind.  
>Until next chapter ~ . ( Also note that the author loveloveloves comments. Even if it's just " FUCK YEAH NEW CHAPTER. " Seriously, I love to know when people are reading. )<p> 


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